Today has not been a good day. I spent most of the afternoon and early evening at the count, watching friends lose their seats or not gain them, then watched ballot papers get piled higher and higher in the "No" slot, and then had to clear a big pile of potentially spoilt ballots, which overwhelmingly meant me saying "yup, that person clearly meant to vote No" a lot more than the other way around.

So tonight, I'm watching Victoria Coren on Have I Got News For You (not a single guest I can't stand, this is a step up) and looking for things that make me laugh. This is doing the rounds:

golf club rules list

Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] webofevil, reposted by [personal profile] andrewducker and [personal profile] theweaselking. It's apparently very genuine.

Any and all links to funny, irreverent stuff that have nothing to do with politics, especially not the bloody awful AV referendum, very very gratefully received. As long as it's not LOLcats.
Picking a paragraph to quote from for this was difficult. My application for a job as a Homeopath
I am a qualified doctor of Neuroscience, so am aware of many long and complex words which I often use to convince people I know what I’m talking about, when in reality I am just exploiting their ignorance for my own amusement. As such, I feel I would be an ideal candidate for the post of doctor of homeopathy.
I was tempted by the bit about Richard Littlejohn, the Desperate Dan fanclub reference was tempting, and the paragraph on the Placebo effect quite good as well. Basically, go and read. It's a genuine job application.

ETA: More posts on the subject: Anomalous Distraction, dcscience.net, Reality Is My Religion, torgwen's posterous
Athough I am comftable wit my knoledge of homepaty, and I liv neaby, I stll feel tht othr aplicants wit medcal quafications stnd a beter chnce thn me. Wit tht in mnd, I’ve dcided to remov caracters frm my words, as yu cn see. As a tru homepath, I flt tht th les caracters I usd in my wrds, th mor efective they woud be.
And this one I really like, from [livejournal.com profile] davidnm at his 'proper' blog:
My education so far includes two degrees in real sciences, a BSc in Physics and an MSc in Astrophysics, and I’m currently working toward a PhD in Astronomy. Thus one day, unlike your homeopath, I may actually be a doctor! As I have no actual medical qualifications, any medical knowledge in my brain is diluted to an extreme degree – and thus, from the basic principles of homeopathy, this means that I must be an extremely good doctor.
I'm pretty sure Douglas would've approved of this:

I had a tough choice of icons for this entry, had to pick a non-standard one, I have so many Dalek and H2G2 icons, but none of them link up. That may have to change...
This is brilliant:

If you're not chuckling immensely, you didn't grow up in the UK. If you didn't, then, y'know, ask for explanation. (via)
Yes, I know, I don't post enough, I keep meaning to, so I'm just going to try and do it more
A nice little mix of stuff in this lot, though the politics averse amongst you should be warned that with elections next week there's a fair bit on that, though not much of it is serious. Posted to both LJ and DW with comments open for technical reasons that I can't be arsed to fix, LJ version: Europe, books, maps and snails—MOAR linkspam
A nice little mix of stuff in this lot, though the politics averse amongst you should be warned that with elections next week there's a fair bit on that, though not much of it is serious. Also posted to DW with comments open, linkspams don't crosspost easily due to limitations at Delicious.
Man robs petrol station, then flees to police academy.

Just when I consider taking [livejournal.com profile] metro_weird of my feeds list, this comes up.
http://www.hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com

I am, for the record, willing to bet anyone that wants to take the bet any amount of money that the LHC will not destroy the earth tomorrow. I'm assure by all the scientists I know that it's got no chance of doing so, hence my confidence in offering the bet.

ETA
: Look at the source code for extra giggles

ETA2: [livejournal.com profile] lhc_kills_earth set up by [livejournal.com profile] karohemd
Right, you (yes, YOU) have less than 24 hours to vote in SB's not-taking-the-piss-honest Prestigious Blog Awards, and given I'm looking likely to win one (with the guy I voted for chasing me from behind) it's probably worth a final plug. Because I know you lot are lazy bastards, I've replicated both the list of finalists and the poll itself under the cut. Those of you using other (lesser) blog platforms will need to log in with OpenID, instructions here, and if you're too lazy to do even that then you shall get a glowering look when next I see you...
The finalists are... )
[Poll #1243314]

For some of the above links to off-site blogs I've added in links to their LJ syndicated feed if I could find it quickly, even with my nifty LJ Addons insets it was a PITA so I missed a few more than I intended, but still.

Also, if you want to be nice and plug this on your journal, have a copy/paste text area of the links and poll code:
Well, I tried setting up the deli.icio.us cross poster (again), but it keeps crashing on me, so here's my linkspam of the last day or so redone with stripped html—sorry about some of the weirdness.

New Statesman - Richard Reeves

Wrote the bio of JS Mill I'm currently reading, which means I like him already. Very interesting set of columns, well worth looking over, even if they are in Staggers.


Edible Dirt,—Easter Sunday, Jesus wakes up

Not original, probably offensive to those that care, rather funny

10 Unfortunate Facts of Life | f*cking c*nts

This amused, it's about time I cleared it from my linklog and actually posted it somewhere

to funny life sex ...

theweaselking: Abortion discussion

Key quote from comments: "It's a hard enough choice without having to make it in an alley. I'll always be pro choice, period."

Why I am an abortion doctor

Read this: 'I can take a woman, in the biggest trouble she has ever experienced in her life, and by performing a five-minute operation, in comfort and dignity, I can give her back her life' Safe, legal, rare, why is there still a controversy?

How to Pack Up & Leave LiveJournal (A Tutorial) (://URLFAN)

Not a bad little how-to. Not how I'd do it specifically, I've already backed up everything including comments to a Wordpress install, but still not bad.

drjon: The LJ Strike (which is today)

Containts a nice little history of previous fusses on the site, with a balanced overview and points out that, well, we've won already

Pharyngula: EXPELLED!

Creationists premiere dodgy movie near home of famous science blogger, specifically ban him from viewing, but not his family or his guest. This is a really dumb move...

It's Just a Game... - Review: The Bible

Funny: "Summary: A confused film, half effects laden, no-brain blockbuster, half cinema-verite talking-heads, lacking a conclusion or climax to justify the budget. Poor plotting and characterisation lead the audience to sympathise with the villains rather

FT.com | The Undercover Economist | Dear Economist: How can I create an incentive scheme to keep our house clean?

Sounds familiar: "My fiancee is moving in with me. We’ve lived together before, and we hate housework. Before, we didn’t do work in retaliation for housework not done by the other." Good to know that even economics doesn't have all the answers

Jennie made me turn this off when I played it a few minutes ago. But I think it's a little amusing.
Bad Gods | Nine Inch Noëls (and I hope this embed works):

Given that it's lyrics from Trent Reznor, including Closer, is the language warning really necessary?
So, um, yeah. Did I mention that while I was oop North we went to see that Harry Potter film on the Bradford IMAX? No? Ah well. SB wrote her review so I thought I'd do a quick summary of good and bad bits before the link below:
Mat's review of HP:OOTP )
There, that's a fairly good review I think. Anyway, for those that haven't seen it, don't want to see it, or simply fancy a giggle, [livejournal.com profile] waka_laka has seen it, and gives a reasonable summary of the main points of plot:
During filming

Emma Watson: *reading the script* Do I FINALLY get a potentially funny line?!
Rupert Grint: Are you sure you can handle it? Can you handle the responsibility that comes with it? You don't want to let me do it?
Emma Watson: Oh RUPERTALD. I can of COURSE do this line expertly for I am EMMA WATSON and I am HERMIONE!
Rupert Grint: *shuffles off back to his ice cream van*

Back to the film -

Hermione: Allow me to introduce you to this female homosapien, Loony Lun- I mean, Luna Lovegood!
Audience: ...
Hermione: ...
Tumbleweed: *blows past*
Audience: Yeah that wasn't funny in the slightest.
Hermione: *turns away and looks embarrassed*
Everyone else in the world: *is embarrassed for her*
Luna: *says ANYTHING and saves the scene entirely*
Go read.

Oh yeah, loads of comments to my last entry, and I'm feeling groggy and not thinking straight, but people seem quite happy discussing it between themselves so, well, I promise to re-read when the Lemsip is working better.
Hmm... Remember this?:
Ann Bryn-Evans, joint Wessex district manager for The Pagan Federation, said: "We were hoping for some dry weather but I think I have changed my mind.

"We'll be doing some rain magic to bring the rain and wash it away."
Maybe there's something in it:
Torrential rain hits Dorset towns
after all?
some areas received more than two months' rain in just 24 hours
Bloody pagans. Do y'all like the way the media and the Govt is commenting loads on this set of (southern) flooding, but when Yorkshire got swamped a few weeks back it was barely commented on and that nice Mr Brown went partying?

Idea for this post from [livejournal.com profile] hennel @ [livejournal.com profile] topicalcomedy
I was going to make a post about our visit to the British Library last Monday, and the statue outside, but, well, got distracted by a phone call and talking to various people.

So I've got it saved in drafts, and instead, I give you YouTubage, again. Because, well, this is so cool...

(it's worth getting past the interview if Jules/Ade annoys, trust me on this)

And, while I've no doubt that if I watched it now I'd find it juvenile, puerile and pointless, this selection of Young Ones clips did make me chuckle a lot.
Awhileback, after [livejournal.com profile] liadnan posted a link, I joined The Culture List, an Iain M. Banks discussion list. Thing is, like many mailing list, it's been going for years. Many many years The regular members know each other (and many have LJs *waves*), and the original topic has been done to death. Nowadays it appears to be almost comlpetely off topic rambling. For the last three or four days, it's been, almost exclusively, a Mac vs all comers flame war. It got a little boring very quickly, but, well, 130+emails later, it seems to be dying off. However, in the dying embers, Josh posted this, which amused; I missed it the first time around, bot someone else picked up on it, so went back and found it:
> Maybe we should just have it out with longswords on the field of glory?
>
> Every OS manufacturer for themselves.

> Microsoft's champion > The Apple warrior > The Linux fighter )
Sounds about right. What is it about Mac fanatics that they just won't shut up? I rarely encounter any Windows fanboying; it's not "Windows is great", it's more a "Windows might suck, but it's what we have to work with". Some Mac users just don't seem to get it.

Ah well. Good mailing list, even if it is a lot of noise. Don't know how I'd handle it if I wasn't using Gmail's conversation view at times though; the joys of filters...
matgb: Artwork of 19th century upper class anarchist, text: MatGB (Default)

British Liberal, house husband, school play leader and stepdad. Campaigner, atheistic feminist, amateur baker. Male.

Known to post items of interest on occasions. More likely to link to interesting stuff. Sometimes talks about stuff he's done. Occasionally posts recipes for good food. Planning to get married, at some point. Enjoying life in Yorkshire.

Likes comments. Especially likes links. Loves to know where people came from and what they were looking for. Mostly posts everything publicly. Sometimes doesn't. Hi.

Mat Bowles

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I'm the Chair of the Brighouse branch of the Liberal Democrats & the membership secretary for Calderdale Lib Dems and run the web campaign for the local candidates. I have a job, a stepdaughter and a life.

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