Am totally with you about a bit dragon in the middle of the Jack! :D
As for the English anthem: clearly it should be Mitch Benn's Eurovision Sod Contest:
Sod the Germans. You're clinically incapable of fun, and yes you're sorry for the war but would you still be if you'd won? Sod the Irish. You're a bunch of drunken whining hypocrites, and yes we nicked your country, it was years ago get over it. Sod the French. You're so very smug, you think you've got it sussed; that's why your cultures going stagnant and your countrys going bust Sod the Dutch, vegetating in a mire of porn and joints, and I would say sod the Belgians, but frankly what's the point? Sod the Italians. No wonder you're in chaos all the time, the only thing you've ever organised is crime. Sod the Spanish, you're lazy gits who sleep for half the day. Sod the Israelis, and why are you in this contest anyway? Sod the Danes and the Norwegians; Nil points again indeed, and for 30 years of Abba, sod the bloody Swedes. And last of all to stop things getting fraught and rancorous, We're a bunch of stupid drunken chavs so while I'm here, sod us.
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As for the English anthem: clearly it should be Mitch Benn's Eurovision Sod Contest: