LJ- oh, teh drama!11!!1

[matgb]

Hmm. Anyone fancy a giggle?

It all started with a post to suggestions. I read it in a state of confusion, going "why don't you just hide 'friends of' if it's causing you a problem?" So I read the comments thread and found everyone else commenting had the same reaction or similar. Then, someone made a comment about the person in questions "friending rules". That comment is now screened, as is my response, I suspect the original poster didn't like the statement of the obvious it entailed.

Go read the link, but on the grounds the idiotindividual in question may change it, I repeat the main points for your entertainment pleasure. Actually, some people may find this sort of mocking cruel. OK, I'm a cruel mean bastard (yeah, right).

Hear ye, hear ye!

Listen now to the

1. I add you first. Not vice versa.

2. If you do add me before I add you, I reserve the right to explore your journal and see whether you're worth adding.

3. If I don't see anything that makes me suspicious, you're in. Congratulations.

4. If there is material that is offensive to me, or to anyone on my Flist, I will request that you defriend me. Please do so immediately.

5. If, however, you have no entries in your journal for me to read, you have no business owning an account in the first place. You will not be added.

6. A note to Christians and Republicans: I don't get along with you. In order to avoid conflict, please do not under any circumstances add me.

7. Since I am an intelligent woman, and all of my friends are equally intelligent, I prefer that only the intelligent add me. People with IQs that dip into the negative strata are not welcome.

8. I reserve the right to defriend at will, with or without warning. Usually with.

9. If you say or do anything that I consider repulsive while on my Flist, or you do or say something that one of my friends would find offensive, you will be informed that your behavior is unacceptible. You will also be removed from my Flist immediately. If the offense is bad enough, you will even be banned.

10. My journal is Friends-only for a reason. Friendships are based on trust. Please show discretion and courtesy toward my entries. I will gladly do likewise.

11. If you should ever decide that you must defriend me, please do not leave a comment explaining your reasons. I'm not that interested, and it will only lead to conflict.

12. If you have a problem with my entries (which would make you either a fundamentalist Christian or a conservative Republican), don't feed me your little hissy fit. You're not as special as you think you are.

13. If you're younger than sixteen, please behave yourself. I'm not your babysitter.

14. This journal is rated R.

Thank you for your time.

I guess I don't get the entirely 'friends only' approach to LJ. It sort of makes sense if you only ever post personal stuff, but is everything always so deeply personal?

And if you have posted something entirely friends only, where are you going to get new lj-friends from? Surely if it's someone you don't actually know, you're going to want to read a bit before you 'add' them? If it's one post alone? Unless it's someone I know or a recommendation, I just go away again.

But that list of 'requirements'? Including 'don't add me first', despite posting entirely friends only? What we have there is an example of "I don't read the FAQ or indeed think for myself". Now, probably because of this silly list, someone is setting up spammy joke acconts and friending her with them. So, to respond to this, she's suggested LJ change its structure as a "security risk". Newsflash! Someone lj-friending you doesn't affect you in any way.

Since I am an intelligent woman, and all of my friends are equally intelligent, I prefer that only the intelligent add me.

Right. We hold these things to be self evident. Merely stating this in this way invalidates the claim, n'est ce pas?

Ah well. People. Not always clever.

For those out there reading this that are entirely friends only, is there a reason why? If you write a film review, or a quick link/discuss on a news story, why f-lock it? I favour the mixture approach myself, it makes more sense to me.

Comments

[faeriecween.livejournal.com]

There's always going to be a drama queen who believes that they're the centre of the universe.

I also don't get entirely friends only journals - why are memes friends only? IS there something deeply personal about which my litle pony you are? Bleh.

[matgb]

There's always going to be a drama queen who believes that they're the centre of the universe.

Aye, true. And so blatently wrong.

Zaphod is the centre of the universe, everyone knows that, right?

[rho]

I know a couple of my friends are entirely friends only because they've had genuine bonafide stalkers, who have been intent on making as much as a nuisance of themselves as possible. From memory, they'll mostly add pretty much anyone to their friends list, but use filters for their reading list. They, of course, have the sese to realise that simply being added as someone else's friend has approximately zero effect on them.

[waka-laka.livejournal.com]

I'm not that much of a friending Nazi... but I do have friending rules, or at least something similar. I like to think I have friending rules because I don't really want people who I have nothing in common to add me. But then again, it could be argued that the only thing I have in common with you is that we live near each other. But still, I like to have friending rules to stop 'ppl ho tlk lyk dis' adding me, so in a way I guess I'm kinda like that woman.

But having said that, I add everyone who asks me to add them, so I guess it's all kinda pointless. XDD That woman sounds quite up herself though, as if it'd be an honour to have her added or something.

A lot of my earlier posts are unlocked and I'm working on making them all friends only, the only reason being because all of my recent posts are friends only and I like everything to be neat and together. Why am I completely f-locked now? Mainly because I don't like the idea that anyone could type in my URL and read my bitchings and rantings, especially if it concerns them. I don't know, I think I just like to know who's reading my journal, I guess.

[waka-laka.livejournal.com]

Wow, I said 'but' a hella lot in that. I'm ashamed of my bad grammar skillz, yo.

[faeriecween.livejournal.com]

I had thought that most people knew that.... there must be some confusion somewhere or we wouldn't have these drama queens...

[matgb]

Stalker problems I can understand, which is why I understand keeping personal stuff, and entirely personal journals, behind a cut.

But if you're just posting memes, news stories, etc? I don't "get" it.

Also, empirical evidence points to it mostly being female users. Is it a gender thing? "where are all the female bloggers" - "on livejournal, behind a friends only cut".

Perspective I guess, no idea, just, well, curious.

[faeriecween.livejournal.com]

probably caused by all that caffeine you mentioned earlier.....

[matgb]

Yeah, but virtually all of your posts are personal. That I get, if you're talking school/work/friends, then f-locking it is something I get.

But if it's a random funny with no rants or mentions of others/real life?

It was an open post of yours that I first read that prompted me to say hello IIRC, I'd always keep some poublic posts up just so people can get a 'feel'.

If it's a 'journal' entry, then knowing whp's reading it makes sense. But a 'funny' post or a 'blog' style post?

Meh. I just found her list of rules so daft they needed sharing.

[waka-laka.livejournal.com]

Haaaaaw?

[matgb]

Yo?

You ended a comment with yo?

*goes to cut*

*thinks better of it*

You're right though, we have not much in common other than locality and internet obsessions. But thou, mostly, amuse me.

And at some point I may make use of your ability to actually understand the S2 editing system...

[rho]

Even if it's just a useless quiz, there are people out there who will use it to leave an entirely unrelated comment, or something like that. And once you get to that point, it's just so much simpler to make everything friends only.

And come to think of it, that's another reason I've heard stated. Some people make everything friends only so they don't have to worry about what should and shouldn't be public, or don't have to make sure that they don't accidentally slip one personal line into an otherwise public post. I guess that if you don't really care about the great unwashed being able to read what you say, then it does make thigs simpler.

And let's be honest. does anyone really care that they can't see the quiz results of some random person they don't know? To the extent that those things are ever interesting, they're only interesting to people who already know the poster, who are likely already on their friends list.

I think that it's a distinction between "journallers" and "bloggers".Friends only works fine when you're just writing about random crap for yourself and to keep in touch with friends, but sucks if you're trying to make a political point, or whatever.

[waka-laka.livejournal.com]

Come on, I couldn't have a 'skillz' without a 'yo'. It just wouldn't be right! :)

And S2? I'm an S1 whore, all the way...

[matgb]

See? See how little I get about LJ styling? I can't tell the difference between the two.

[faeriecween.livejournal.com]

wrong window.... sorry my msn is messing about and hadn't moved the cursor over....

[waka-laka.livejournal.com]

*grins* S2 is for people who have no idea how to customise, S1 is overrides and coding and all that jazz. Pretty much.

[matgb]

The "not sure which" dilemma I get; some of my recent ones I've mentioned work and kept them public, so that is at least a reason I can relate to.

IT's not actually quiz results, etc that I'm thinking of, it's a few people I read that are doing the blogging link/discuss style posts but are entirely f-locked.

Making a political point, but friends only.

Another case of varying mileage I guess.

I'm a 'blogger' who started with LJ. Others are really LJers but are using other, inferior for personal stuff platforms.

The Darbyshires are, well, something I really ought to stop reading. I'm informed it's definately not a spoof as well.

[matgb]

I just want a page I can open, edit the source and upload it.

I want to amend my current style myself, by looking at how it works and changing it. Huge advantage of Blogger is the way you can mess around with the template if'n you want to.

Ah well. I'll stick to this one for a bit, it works, and the tweaks are quite nice.

[atlanta06.livejournal.com]

Mmm...wankiness. That little episode should be reported.

*satisfied*

[rho]

In that case, maybe it's about having a safe space? Like being down at the pub and ranting to your friends about the government and how they ought to raise/lower taxes and be harder/more lenient on $issue. You're not going to convince anyone of anything because you already know your friend agrees with you, but it can be cathartic. I don't know though, really, since i'm mainly public.

A lot of my entries to to be blog-like, but I'm happy to stick on LiveJournal anyway. I've occasionally contemplated setting up a "proper" "blog" and trying to separate out the stuff that's of general interest from the stuff that's only of interest to people who know me, but decided against. I think that I like the mixture of the two, and it's also a good way to get to know more people (who might start reading me because of the bloggish stuff, but then stick around for the journaly bits). And besides, I'm just too familiar with LJ as a platform by now.

[karis-uk.livejournal.com]

Firstly - I agree with you regarding the stupid bint and her rules. She should look up the definition of intelligence before making comments about negative IQ's.

With regards to f-locking, here are my reasons. Firstly, I do not, never have, and never will add someone to my friends list on lj that I have not been for a drink with at least once. From time to time I look at other people's journals because someone has posted a link, or to find out who they are following a comment, but that's about it. My reasons for this are mainly because i don't use lj as a 'blog' - I use it as a way of keeping in contact with people around the country as it is easier than sending 40 odd emails out. This is just me - I never felt the need to have shitloads of friends listed. It means I can get more involved on a one on one basis with people as well via comments and the like, and keeps it more personal.

When I started, I never locked anything. I didn't post up that much that was personal either, but I wanted people who didn't have an lj to read my stuff too. After a certain event and certain situations with people last year, I then discovered that someone who was actually on my f-list at the time was posting up really nasty comments and criticisms, using lj as a way of telling me stuff that she was too cowardly to say to my face. I immediately took off all the related posts, and took her off my list, but, oddly enough she still has me listed as a friend even now! That's when I started locking everything, and hid my 'friend of' list from my profile. With the rare exception of things that I feel are important to make public (like the ID cards thing) I now lock everything. I don't want this person knowing anything about me, and I like knowing who can read my journal. I do memes intermittently, the only reviews I post are passing comments on films and books, which is more like discussing it down the pub than a 'review' as such, and I'm much more interested in what my friends say than I am in complete strangers opinions. I also like to keep anything related to what I am doing and where I will be strictly to people that I would hope to run into. I don't trust this person that caused me problems previously, or a few others that I know have lj's, not to put comments up again, so I now screen everything that is not posted by friends. When I want to make friends with people - I do it in real life. I personally don't want to make friends online via lj, no matter how interesting their journal is, because I prefer the real world at the end of the day (virtual beer just doesn't have the same effect for starters!)
To be honest, it's a pain in the arse, but I'd rather know and trust the people I am talking to than leave myself open for another attack. And also, at the end of the day, I pick and choose who I tell stuff to in real life, so it makes sense for me to pick and choose online as well, especially as this is the main way I have of keeping in touch with a lot of people these days.

[silentgreeneyes.livejournal.com]

As has been said people=stupid..


And I agree with you, the mixture approach works best. Personally I've only ever filtered one entry, and that was my rant about rocsoc (Which I didn't let rocsoc people see for obvious reasons). So um.. yeah


And I agree with the comment concerning her statement. So stupid to proclaim that you're clever.

[itchyfidget.livejournal.com]

LJ friending drama - OMG.

Anyway. I'm mostly friends-only, and this is principally because I don't wish to be identified by any of my students. I do post the odd meaningless thing for the world to see (and occasionally it's even political), but most of the time I like to keep my stuff where my students won't find it and put two and two together. I've *never* posted about work without f-locking it, but sometimes there are other things I write about that could potentially identify me, and I want to be very careful to keep that information private.

Arguably, it wouldn't be the end of the world if a student read my LJ and realised who I was, but I believe quite strongly in keeping students at arm's length, which includes not mentioning much about my private life and not getting into politics with them (I'm just not sure it's appropriate ... they've come to learn about other things and I have a duty to make that happen and not abuse my position).

That last paragraph is probably a whole post in the making. One day :)

[innerbrat]

I want to friend her now.

Seriously, I want everyone I know to friend her.

I want friending this person to be the new "falsifying statistics".

...that's all I have to say, because I'm mean.

[nadriel.livejournal.com]

You win teh Intarweb.... :-P