Mat Bowles

If in doubt on any given issue, read elephantfeed, as the fluffy elephant seems to have its head screwed on.

If there is a banging on the flat next doors door, it means that someone has let someone past the security door when they shouldn't have. If, on opening th edoor to find out what is going on, you are greeted with a distraught looking female, react according to instinct.

If, on asking said female (of indeterminate age but looks wasted) if she's looking for the neighbour, she collapses into a sob story, pay attention to words of sob story. If she says "he paid me to have sex with him, but gave me a checque, so I can't afford to pay for the B&B tonight and I've nowhere to sleep", then turning off your normal altruistic instincts might be a good plan. Esepcially if oyu happen to know the bastard is actually in but not answering the door.

If the lady upstairs (Anne) gestures to you to run and leave it, probably a good plan to shut the door and not get involved.

FFS, I need to move out of this building. Girl claimed to Anne that a) she's 16 (she looked a lot more, um, "lived in", but was definately off her face on something) b) he'd given her a cheque for £400 (um, for sex? with that? he's stupid, but not that stupid - besides, if it's for that much, it's definately rubber, he's as skint as me, but earns (a lot) less). Spoke to Anne after she left (Mike never opened the door). She'd rung him from upstairs, he wasn't going to leave the flat. Even the girls downstairs (who, let's just say, aren't the nicest of neighbours) thought she was a problem.

Charity? Maybe it ought to begin at home. But to bring back 16 year old drug addicts and pay them for sex with a rubber cheque, and then hide from them and let your neighbours deal with it? I thought he was the decent neighbour (apart from Anne).

Well, it looks like someone else in the street has complained. Lee never did anything, now the new landlord says he will, we'll see.

Anyway, letter received from a Mr R Kelly, Environmental Protection Section, with attached noise leaflet. There's a copy for each flat, 1 through 6, so whoever it is doesn't know it's specifically her.

Does say "evidence from a diary may be used", hope this can count. Wonder if dad knew him? Must remember to ask. Possible I might have met him if he's been there for awhile.

Lee says he's selling the place and has a buyer. Suspect it's the guy I met, not sure, but no chance he'll deal with her downstairs quickly, so I'll keep track of the problems here. Private my-eyes-only for now.

Since she moved in, she's been regularly loud and annoying. Discussions with her, and via Anne and Lee, have been fruitless. She seems to acknowledge the problem, then gets drunk, and is both incapable and frankly obnoxious when she's not sober.

Regular late night music, mostly crappy chart/dance stuff. Plus, she shouts. Badly. A few weeks back, a neighbour from across the street came out and shouted at her, but it's not getting very far.

It's getting worse with the summer, she's keeping her window open, sitting in it, music blaring and shouting to anyone that walks passed. I know I'm naturally a quiet person, but she's excessively loud, even by my standards. Maybe the new landlord will be of use. I don't hold my breath.