Mat Bowles

I am, naturally, disgusted at this Boots advert. Not, as it happens, because it sends the message that women need to look good to get a man. Nor because it perpetuates the conformity agenda, and also not because it says women are the problem. It does of course send all of these messages, but that's not the biggest problem. The biggest problem?

It portrays beach culture as healthy

And that's a really bad thing. It's getting to that time of year when thousands, nay, millions of idiots will flcok tot he beach in an attempt to 'get a tan' and 'look healthy'. Bullshit.

Those of you that have met me will know that I don't look my age. I look, in fact, about 8 years younger than I actually am (whenever someone asks my age I ask them to guess it first, I've had as young as 21 within the last 6 months). Any guesses as to why? It's because I'm in a huge skin cancer risk group. I've known this since I was 12, a long time before my mother had to have many operations to remove non-malignant melanomas. Skin cancer is a growing threat, especially with the ozone depletion, but it's always been a problem. But even if you don't get a cancer, by tanning constantly you dry and prematurely age your skin, you look much older much faster. So I look younger than others my age, becaue I've not really tanned my skin since I was a young teen.

Yes, I'd rather like it if people in senior positions didn't treat me like a kid on a regular basis, but y'know what? There's a little bit of me that likes being underestimated because of my "youthful" appearance. Because the reality is my appearance is fairly natural; it's the sun-seekers who've aged too quickly, not me. Up until her mid-thirties, my mother was very attractive (seriously). After that, she started aging very quickly. Why? Perpetually brown skin, much sun tanning. Prematurely aged, and eventually gave her skin cancer. Having a deathly white palour is bad for you, this I know. But more than a little exposure is such a really bad idea. Do yourself a favour, don't buy the boots products to "look gorgeous for the beach". There are many ways to enjoy yourself near the coast; I grew up in a coastal resort. Sunning yourself isn't a good one.

A sun tan'll kill you

And on that happy note, I'll turn in for the night, great first day at work today, here's hoping it continues.

Look, I know you've had a quiet week for the most part, but I think it's time to explain a few home truths.

1. I do not have a PayPal account
2. I do not have an eBay account
3. I have no real interest in OEM software
4. I have never bought a ticket in the Netherlands lottery
5. If I want to look at porn, I will go and look at porn you don't need to mail me with links to your crappy redirect sites
6. What is Cialis anyway. And, for that matter, can you please learn to spell Viagra?
7. Those 419 advance fee fraud things you keep sending me? Only work on people with money in their bank account, I don't
8. I have a decent spam filter anyway...

That last is the clincher here, right? ( The death of spam? )

So, dear friends. If you would be so kind as to target your advertising bollocks more effectively, and stop sending me stuff that's completely irrelevent, I would very much appreciate it. I'm already signed up for a few sites created by former colleagues of yours that exist specifically to spam me stuff, you could learn from them and realise the game is up? Thanks chaps, much appreciated.